Correcting Sentence Structure in a Paragraph
Sumber: www.Google.co.id/gambar/sentence problems
A Review of Sentence Problem
In this section, you will learn to recognize and correct some common errors in sentence structure: sentence fragments, as well as choppy, run-on, and stringy sentences, also errors in parallelism.
1. Parallelism
Lists of items joined by coordinating conjunctions and correlative conjunctions must be parallel in structure. The same is true of contrasts and comparisons of items. If the first item is a noun, make all others nouns; if it is a phrase, make all of the others phrases; if it is a clause, make all of the others clauses.NON PARALLEL
I enjoy snow skiing in the winter and waterski summers.
PARALLEL
I enjoy snow skiing in the winter and waterskiing in the summer.
NON PARALLEL
My grandmother not only speaks four languages but also she understands six.
PARALLEL
My grandmother not only speaks four languages but also understands six.
2. Sentence Problems
The four main kinds of problem sentences that students may write are fragments, run-ons, comma splices, and stringy sentences.Fragments are incomplete sentences.
Fragment:
The subject that I enjoyed the most in high school.
Corrected:
The subject that I enjoyed the most in high school was physics.
Run-ons and comma splices are incorrectly joined independent clauses.
Run-on:
Getting married is easy staying married is another matter.
Corrected:
Getting married is easy, but staying married is another matter.
Comma splice:
Getting married is easy, staying married is another matter.
Corrected:
Getting married is easy, but staying married is another matter.
Or:
Although getting married is easy, staying married is another matter.
Choppy sentences are sentences that are too short.
Choppy:
My family left our homeland. Then we lived in a refugee camp. We lived there for several months. Then we got our documents. We traveled to Canada. We live there now.
Corrected:
After my family left our homeland, we lived i a refugee camp for several months. As soon as we got our documents, we traveled to Canada, where we live now.
Stringy sentences are sentences with too many independent clauses.
Stringy:
My family left our homeland, and we lived in a refugee camp for several months, but finally we got our documents, so we traveled to Canada, and we live there now.
Corrected:
After my family left our homeland, we lived i a refugee camp for several months. As soon as we got our documents, we traveled to Canada, where we live now.
Sumber: www.Google.co.id/gambar/sentence problems
EDITING PRACTICE
Edit the following paragraph for errors in parallel structure and other sentence problems. Identify the problem sentences and correct them. (Notes: Not every sentence has a problem.)
American: Melting Pot or Salad Bowl?
1The United States counts its population every ten years, and each census reveals that the racial and ethnic mix is changing dramatically, so by the year 2050, the "average" American will not be descended from Europeans, but the majority of U.S. residents will trace their ancestry to Africa, Asia, the Hispanic world, the Pacific Islands, or Middle East. 2Once the United States was a microcosm of European nationalities, today the United States is a microcosm of the world. 3The United States is no longer considered a "melting pot" society by many of its residents. 4Instead, many people prefer the term "salad bowl." 5They use the term to describe American Society. 6American society will soon be predominantly nonwhite. 7"Melting pot" implies that the different ethnic groups blend together into one homogeneous mixture, "salad bowl" implies that nationalities, like the ingredients in a mixed green salad, retain their cultural identities. 8Earlier generations of immigrants believed they had to learn English quickly not only to survive but also for success. 9Now, many immigrant groups do not feel the same need. 10Because there are many places in America where you can work, shop, get medical care, marry, divorce, and die without knowing English. 11For example, Chinatown in San Francisco and New York. 12Also, Los Angeles has many Vietnamese immigrants and immigrants from Mexico. 13In addition, many immigrant groups want their children to know their own culture. 14Many Hispanics, for example, want their children to learn both English and study the Spanish language in school. 15They are fighting for the right to bilingual education in many communities. 16In many communities they are in the majority.
census: population count
be descended from: be the children, grandchildren, etc., of
ancestry: a person's origins
microcosm: small community representing a large one
Model answer:
Problem with stringy sentence: sentence 1
The United States counts its population every ten years, and each census reveals that the racial and ethnic mix is changing dramatically, so by the year 2050, the "average" American will not be descended form Europeans, but the majority of U.S. residents will trace their ancestry to Africa, Asia, the Hispanic world, the Pacific Islands, or Middle East.
Corrected:
The United States counts its population every ten years, and each census reveals that the racial and ethnic mix is changing dramatically. By the year 2050, the "average" American will not be descended form Europeans, but the majority of U.S. residents will trace their ancestry to Africa, Asia, the Hispanic world, the Pacific Islands, or Middle East.
Problem with comma splice: sentence 2
Once the United States was a microcosm of European nationalities, today the United States is a microcosm of the world.
Corrected:
Once the United States was a microcosm of European nationalities, but today the United States is a microcosm of the world.
Problem with choppy sentence: sentence 4, 5, and 6
Instead, many people prefer the term "salad bowl." They use the term to describe American Society. American society will soon be predominantly nonwhite.
Corrected:
Instead, many people prefer to use the term "salad bowl" to describe American Society who will soon be predominantly nonwhite.
Problem with comma splice: sentence 7
"Melting pot" implies that the different ethnic groups blend together into one homogeneous mixture, "salad bowl" implies that nationalities, like the ingredients in a mixed green salad, retain their cultural identities.
Corrected:
"Melting pot" implies that the different ethnic groups blend together into one homogeneous mixture, while "salad bowl" implies that nationalities, like the ingredients in a mixed green salad, retain their cultural identities.
Problem with parallelism: sentence 8
Earlier generations of immigrants believed they had to learn English quickly not only to survive but also for success.
Corrected:
Earlier generations of immigrants believed they had to learn English quickly not only to survive but also to succeed.
Problem with sentence fragment: sentence 10
Because there are many places in America where you can work, shop, get medical care, marry, divorce, and die without knowing English.
Problem with sentence fragment: sentence 11
For example, Chinatown in San Francisco and New York.
Corrected:
There are many places in America where you can work, shop, get medical care, marry, divorce, and die without knowing English, for example, Chinatown in San Francisco and New York.
Problem with parallelism: sentence 12
Also, Los Angeles has many Vietnamese immigrants and immigrants from Mexico.
Corrected:
Also, Los Angeles has many Vietnamese and Mexican immigrants.
Problem with parallelism: sentence 14
Many Hispanics, for example, want their children to learn both English and study the Spanish language in school.
Corrected:
Many Hispanics, for example, want their children to learn both English and the Spanish language in school.
Problem with choppy sentences: sentence 15 and 16
They are fighting for the right to bilingual education in many communities. In many communities they are in the majority.
Corrected:
They are fighting for the right to bilingual education, and in many communities they are in the majority.
Paragraph that has been improved:
American: Melting Pot or Salad Bowl?
The United States counts its population every ten years, and each census reveals that the racial and ethnic mix is changing dramatically. By the year 2050, the "average" American will not be descended from Europeans, but the majority of U.S. residents will trace their ancestry to Africa, Asia, the Hispanic world, the Pacific Islands, or Middle East. Once the United States was a microcosm of European nationalities, but today the United States is a microcosm of the world. The United States is no longer considered a "melting pot" society by many of its residents. Instead, many people prefer to use the term "salad bowl" to describe American Society who will soon be predominantly nonwhite. "Melting pot" implies that the different ethnic groups blend together into one homogeneous mixture, while salad bowl" implies that nationalities, like the ingredients in a mixed green salad, retain their cultural identities. Earlier generations of immigrants believed they had to learn English quickly not only to survive but also to succeed. Now, many immigrant groups do not feel the same need. There are many places in America where you can work, shop, get medical care, marry, divorce, and die without knowing English, for example, Chinatown in San Francisco and New York. Also, Los Angeles has many Vietnamese and Mexican immigrants. In addition, many immigrant groups want their children to know their own culture. Many Hispanics, for example, want their children to learn both English and the Spanish language in school. They are fighting for the right to bilingual education, and in many communities they are in the majority.
This is only my own model answer. Perhaps, you have your own model answer. Please feel free to discuss and try to find the best model answer.
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